Marriage; 901 Jokes

Mere Chehre Pe Pani Kyun Dala

Shaadi Se Agle Din Patni Gusse Se Pati Se Boli.

Patni: “Subah-Subah Mere Chehre Pe Pani Kyun Dala?”

Pati: “Tere Baap Ne Kaha Tha Ke Meri Beti Phool Ki Tarah Hai, Ise Murjhane Mat Dena“

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Pappu makes a call from Delhi 2 his wife

Pappu makes a call from Delhi 2 his wife
.
. . .
Servant picked up d phone.

Pappu : Memsab se baat karao !

Servant: Woh to sahab k sath kamre me so rahi hai.
...
...
Pappu : Par sahab to main hu.

servant: Ab main kya karu?

Pappu: Maar de dono ko, main hold karta hu..

After killing....

servant: Dead body ka kya karu ?

Pappu: Ghar k piche swimming pool mein phenk kr bhaag ja.

Servant: Par ghar k piche to swimming pool hai hi nahi.
.
Pappu: Oh sorry, wrong number..:-O:P :D

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Husband: Janu ek kiss kar lu

Husband: Janu ek kiss kar lu..??

Wife: nahi..

Husband: Saree la dunga..

Wife: Bilkul nahi..

Husband: Jwellery la dunga..

Wife: Ek bar bola na, nahi,,

Pass mei soya hua Beta bola: "Meri le lo,, Cycle la dena":D

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Biwi Ka Gussa Hamesha Ke Liye Kaise Shant Kare

Santa Ne Ek Din Badi Udasi Se Apne Dost Banta Ko Bola.

Santa: “Yaar Meri Biwi Gussa Bahut Karti Hai”

Banta: “Meri Bhi Pahle Karti Thi Ab Nahi Karti”

Santa: “Achha, Aisa Tum Ne Kya Elaaj Kiya?”

Banta Muskurate Hue: “Kuch Khas Nahi, Wo Ek Din Gusse Mein Thi, Maine Kah Diya Ke Budhape Mein Gussa Aa Hi Jata Hai, Us Din Se Wo Gussa Nahi Karti“

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Patni: Suno ji mere saath

Patni: Suno ji mere saath tumhare dus saal kaise beete?

Pati: Ek second ki tarah.

Patni: Agar main tumse 10000 rs mangu toh kaisa lagega?

Pati: Chavnni ki tarah.

Patni: Jara 10000 rs dena toh

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine

Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa: Ye 3 mahine mein bacha kaise ho gaya?
Biwi: Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye!
time ka pata hi nahi laga? :D

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wife: m not feeling well

Wife: m not feeling well..
Husband: Ohhoo I was thinking
to go for a dinner!!

Wife: I was joking dear..
Husband: Me too,
Chal uth rotti bana shabas.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
cozn

BOSS:15 din ki chuti q chahiye?
pathan:cousin ki shadi he.
boss:cousin ki shadi me15 din chuti q?
pathan:cousin ki shadi mujse ho rahi he

by itrat batool (few years ago!)
Girl-Friend Ki Shaadi Mein Ja Kar Ye Ehsaas Hua

Modern Aashiq:
Aaj Apni Girl-Friend Ki Shaadi Mein

Ja Kar Ye Ehsaas Hua,
Ki Rajma Chawal Achhe Ho To Mohabbat Bhi Feeki Lagti Hai.

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
requirment

Larkay Wale: Hume Aisi Larki Chahiye
Jo zayada Khati-Peeti Na Ho,aur
hamesha chup rahe or shohar ki sunay.
Larki walay:
Aisi Larki To Apko ICU Me Hi Milegi

by itrat batool (few years ago!)
peer baba

Peer:Bata agr koi Mannat
mangni ha to bta do.
Mureed:Plz mujhe phir se
unmarried wail zindagi day
dein.
Peer:Beta ‘Mannat’maango
‘Jannat’na maango..

by itrat batool (few years ago!)
waqas bhai

Dulha Kmray Me Aatay Hun
Chair Se Takra K Gir Gya,
Dulhan (Ghabra k)Waqas Bhai
Aaram Se…
MORAL:Or Kro CznO sy Shadi:-)

by itrat batool (few years ago!)
A Husband’s version

A Husband’s version:

My wife is like “Terms & Conditions” of a website!

I never understand what she says, but I always Accept…!

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Husband: Kal mere khawab

Husband: Kal mere khawab ma ek lrki aye thi.

Wah!Kia larki thi.

Wife: Akeli ayee hogi?

Husband: Tm ko kese pata?

Wife: Uska husband mere khawab me aya tha’

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)
Wife: sunye jub

Wife: sunye jub app nay pehli baar mera ghonghut uthaya tha

tu kesa mehsos kya tha?

Husband: mai marr jata agar AAYAT-UL-KURSI yaad na hoti

by Pak101.com (few years ago!)

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