Animal; 711 Jokes

Teri cow ki aik ankh khrab hai

Customer-Teri Cow Ki 1 Ankh Kharab Hai, Fir Bhi
Tu
25,000 Mang Rha He.
Santa- Tuze Cow Dudh Pine K Liye Leni Hai Ya
Nain-Matkkane Ke Liye.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Mera Kutta tommy kho gaya

Tinku: Mera Kutta Tommy Kho Gaya Hai.
Mintu: To Tum Kisi Akhbar Me Vigyapan Kyo Nahi
Dete.
Tinku: Usase Kya Hoga?
Tmmy Ko 2 Padhna Nahi Aata.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Ye bakra kitne ka hai

Customer-Ye bakra kitne ka hai
kasai:-Rs.500. Customer:- Itna sasta.
kasai:-China ka hai koi gurantee nahi hai, ho sakta
hai kal bhokne lage

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)
Chesapeake Bay and a Blonde

Q: What's the difference between the Chesapeake Bay and a blonde?

A: The Chesapeake Bay is losing its crab population.

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
Bullfight Buffet

A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards he goes to a nearby restaurant and orders the specialty of the day. The waiter brings him two very big balls on a huge plate, which the tourist eats with relish. The next day he goes to the same restaurant again, once again orders the specialty of the day, and he is brought two very big balls on a huge plate. It tastes even more scrumptious.

The third day he does the same and the fourth, but on the fifth day he goes to the restaurant and orders the specialty of the day, and they bring him two very small balls on a big plate. The man asks, "What gives?"

And the waiter says, "Senor, the bullfighter doesn't always win!"

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
Black and Brown

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?

A: A Doberman pinscher.

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
BIRDMAN

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
BLONDOG

Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?

From chasing parked cars!

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
THE BAT PET

Three vampire bats live in a cave surrounded by three castles. One night, the bats bet on who can drink the most blood.

The first bat comes home with blood dripping off his fangs. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of three people."

The second bat returns with blood around his mouth. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of five people."

The third bat comes back covered in blood. He says, "See that castle over there?" The other bats nod. "Well," says the third bat, "I didn't."

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
Barnum & Bailey

Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from one town to another. The elephants were connected trunk to tail. They came along a railroad crossing and as the elephants were halfway across the tracks, a train came along and killed two of them.

Shortly thereafter, B&M Railroad received an invoice from Barnum and Bailey for $10,000. B&M immediately called Barnum & Bailey and requested an explanation for the charge, writing, "What is the cost of a new elephant?"

Barnum & Bailey responded, "$1,000 each."

B&M responded, "But, we only killed two of them!"

Barnum & Bailey said, "Yes, but you pulled the assholes out of eight others."

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
Barnum & Bailey

Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from one town to another. The elephants were connected trunk to tail. They came along a railroad crossing and as the elephants were halfway across the tracks, a train came along and killed two of them.

Shortly thereafter, B&M Railroad received an invoice from Barnum and Bailey for $10,000. B&M immediately called Barnum & Bailey and requested an explanation for the charge, writing, "What is the cost of a new elephant?"

Barnum & Bailey responded, "$1,000 each."

B&M responded, "But, we only killed two of them!"

Barnum & Bailey said, "Yes, but you pulled the assholes out of eight others."

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
Bar... Alligator

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."

The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."

He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"

The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yeah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
THE ANT....!!!

Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?

A. Because he was pissed off!

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
THE ANSWER

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"

by khalid hussain (few years ago!)
Golu apni billi ko le ker

GOLU apni billi ko lekar exam dene ja raha tha.
MOLU:-ye billi ko lekar kha ja rhe ho.?
GOLU:-exam dene.
MOLU:-koun sa..?
GOLU:-"CAT" ka.

by Tanveer Hussain (few years ago!)

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